The Self Leader Secret
Desire, Passion, Feelings and Expectations Part 1 of 3
What will you do for desire?
Tying the knot can mean many things, including getting married as one satisfies a lifelong desire. Hope that life suddenly improves upon exchanging rings and vows. Do you honestly believe that you have instant control of the relationship? Or that your partner is forever officially sealed in love by the ring? How can that be so? Only you can make it so by fueling your desires together.
Vows are only valuable when you create values together. If one relies on the other to fill a need, then there is an abuse of control. The expecting person may have failed to take care of their own need, and looks to the other to provide that need. Why do we assume a man is to provide everything? What a hefty burden, growing-up with that expectation. In his mind, he knows he may not be anymore capable than the young lassie, sitting next to him. In fact, he may think she is so cute and smart and he likes that. Those traits fuel his desire for her. Someday he may marry her, and would provide all that he can for her, knowing she can provide for herself. A man wants to provide his woman everything because it feels good to do so. On the other hand, expectations of another serve only to destroy the very value expected.
Do you remember wanting something so much you had to figure out what to do to earn it? Maybe it was a personal material item (a new pair of shoes, a bike, or a baton) or perhaps you wanted to feel worthy (make the team, get the lead part in a musical production, or write for the school newspaper). If you were a giver, you might have wanted something (flowers or a gift) for a friend, relative or flame. It made no difference what the item or feeling was, what mattered was that you alone had the desire to provide it. Further, you alone had the ability to earn or provide that value to self or another. Only you could produce the desire, the passion for it, and the feelings that came from the action of providing that desire.
Desire is different for each of us. Without desire, there is no drive for life. Desire fuels our passion. The desire to live, and our need to produce values for our self and others, makes our day feel valuable. Without producing values, one is in a stagnant rut; feeling bored, alone, and looking for quick opportunities for fleeting moments of happiness. When is the last time you felt passionate about life in general and a person? Next, let’s bring back that passion by looking at ways to earn love again.