The Self Leader Secret
Hurting People Hurt
You know there is a distinct difference between us human beings and the animal kingdom. When animals are hurt they succumb to their suffering, enduring it until they achieve either a recovery or death. People on the other hand attempt to communicate their suffering to others. Many people, like animals simply succumb to their pain in silence attempting to hope for relief through their pain; however it seems to me that many more find themselves feeling so helpless in their suffering that they lash out at others as they express the helplessness of their suffering.
Hurting people that hurt others are really crying out for attention to their pain. Hurting people feel that there can be no relief for their pain, with this belief they perceive themselves as helpless, vulnerable, and lash out in their pain to those around them. We are emotional beings first; then perhaps, and hopefully in time, we begin to see the bigger picture of our lives.
Some say you bring it on yourself. A statement like that is also a statement that causes hurt and pain. We all know that there are many types of pain. When hurting people hurt others they are expressing a very particular type of pain….that pain is the pain of the heart. This is the most destructive pain there is. This is emotional pain – it is the unseen within which is hurting us. This emotional pain causes hurt to the very core of our being, developing into a deep rooted pain within our souls.
Deep rooted pains coming from the heart are those pains which have found no resolution, no relief. It has been said that the unseen is that which most affects us, whereas the seen is the lesser of two evils because we can form an understanding of the WHY in an instance where we can see the cause of the pain. That mental recognition at the very least gives us a way to work through the properties of the things that hurt us because we can identify with it; this is how the animal experiences and deals with pain.
However, those unseen pains of the heart come from the realm of the unseen. As we struggle to understand how these unseen feelings can cause us such deep rooted pain, it is because we cannot, at whatever level of higher consciousness we have achieved in life begin to understand the root of the unseen pains of the heart. Pains of the heart require the contemplation of higher consciousness to mediate our reasoning and eventually understanding of why we hurt. As we struggle to rationalize this pain we can say there are causes such as, “I have lost the love of my life”, or, “I have lost my ability to financially meet my responsibilities – I feel like such a failure,” or, “I can’t understand why people don’t love and accept me.” We struggle with these seen causes because they, like the pain of the heart we feel, are tangible; and yet it is the unseen outcome of these tangible things that is our pain – the unseen hurt within our hearts.
The unseen truly has the potential to do the most harm to our lives and to those around us…..This is why it is so important to learn to work through the pains of the heart at a conscious level.
When the pains of the heart penetrate our thoughts they become the tools of destruction within us bringing bitterness into our souls essence and, it is at this point that we, through the bitterness that ensues, find ourselves saying things, or doing things that hurt others. Compounding the problem is the mind set of the world we live in.
I believe that today our civilization has forgotten to focus on what love is and what love does. We have exchanged the concept of true inner love, “that which is unseen” with the manifestations of love on a physical “that which we see level.” How big is your wedding ring? How much did you spend on planning and inviting your friends to that special occasion or wedding event? Those things are beautiful manifestations of love, don’t get me wrong – don’t judge me; but, how many of us feel that as time has progressed through our relationships those relationships have stopped fulfilling us as they once had even though we had previously gotten such joy in the physical manifestation of our love? If love is not the physical manifestation then what is it?
Love is the power of life within you. Love gives you compassion and with that compassion a desire to share love with others. What love does is give us the ability to use compassion at a mental level to self express our emotions, once the emotional base is established into a form of higher consciousness, so that we can forgive and love others even when they hurt us. This ability lifts them up and through the lifting up of your love and forgiveness towards them – they can find healing from the pains of the heart in time. Most importantly to the regeneration of the internal you is the fact that when you reach this level of consciousness where love heals at the core, you yourself receive a greater portion of self love within placing you in harmonic unison with the greatest unseen power of all – Love Itself. Love becomes your great healer. And when shared, and more importantly received by those you direct your love to, will also lift them up to the higher plains of consciousness where love dwells eventually creating conscious love within them.
So, why is it so hard to overcome internal pains of the heart? It seems today in modern civilization, we base our value system on those things which are seen. Because the core of our value structure is based on material matter, that which is seen; the types of satisfaction we derive from those things is less potent as all matter eventually will break down and dissipate; whereas the powerful emotion of love is the essence and power of life regeneration which is replicated within a society through the compassionate giving of ourselves in love to those around us. Without the higher consciousness of this concept at our core being, we simply go on hurting and attempting to mask our hurt through temporal expressions or through the emotional outbursts of pain explosions. The emotional big bang if you will.
Love (the unseen) provides the greatest seen of all (life). Life is both seen and unseen. Life is the one thing that eternally replicates itself. If we are healing loving souls of love and compassion we re-create that within those around us both on the physical and emotional levels. Through this, we continually are self lifting our consciousness to higher and higher plains of life within. As we develop this state of love its power will send regeneration and healing to those we are compassionate with. So the question remaining will be, do I want to allow myself to accept that unseen quality of life that lifts me up as the power to heal me within; or, will I continue to find solace in my pain and bitterness?
I recently shared an experience with my neighbors that brought me to tears – It was because they gave me an expression of love this Thanksgiving by providing me with a full Thanksgiving meal, enough for two days including dessert. Why was this so touching to me? It was because prior to this I had the difficult decision to make which required me to report illegal occurrences perpetuated by their teenaged children. Parents don’t want to hear there may be a problem of that nature pertaining to their children; nevertheless, I knew if I said nothing their children could endanger themselves and perhaps their family. We worked through this and the child in particular became aware of the direction they were taking and turned from the path. At one point the Father asked me to call the police on his own child – which I did. Prior to this our families had shared gift giving throughout the years on all special occasions. However after this event our love was wounded if you will.
We dealt with these matters emotionally working through the hardships – sometimes resenting each other – and yet feeling hurt due to the dissolution of our previous relationship. I am grateful to say that I our love quality stood the test of time and I now know our love was true because now that the worst is behind us, this love that we shared between us brought about forgiveness, leading to compassion, and once again the ability to love each other again. We once again feel completeness (healing within) as we continue to express the higher conscious levels of shared love through forgiveness.
I hope that this story will help you, and in some way may lift you as I share it in love with you.