The Self Leader Secret
Leap into Love
Are you coping with life (stress, hurry, and worry) or living the life you are equipped to have (joy, calm, and love)? You can have a life of optimal health and emotional fulfillment. The skills necessary to live optimally are obtainable through conscious choice.
We can choose to accept what we can’t change (others), change what we can (self), and love in the present moment, so that life continually grows sweeter and more valuable to us.
When you focus on lack, you are in fear and will gather more fear. When you instead choose to focus on love the present moment most often will be peaceful for self and others.
At the moment we make decisions we often lock ourselves and others into fear of a past mistake or a future of scarcity. Warfare begins due to this fear of lack, so does welfare. Becoming aware of our own consciousness we are better equipped to make better choices, especially since we humans want and crave acceptance.
We yearn to be accepted by others and to have the blessings of life. An infant is proof of that. Mimicking those around, the infant feels acceptance and continues to learn and grow. We witness the toddler’s determination to gather more abilities and skills to be just like the adults. We often swell with pride as the “little one” learns to fill a need, partly because the toddler’s dependence on us becomes less demanding of our precious crowded time.
Soon, we may discover we miss that need of attention (lack of time together) from us and we often create situations that place us together (control of time). Sometimes the adult’s control of youth brings additional opportunity for continued physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth. Unfortunately, there are times when adults instead place children in situations that hinder their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth. With observation we can quickly determine whether the missing need that we tried to fill was beneficial (filling their need) or detrimental (filling our need to control). We can do this with all decisions.
Now, knowing that you can consciously decide to love or fear (feel lack) in the present moment, would you have lived your life differently? Hoping for a different life is not enough to make it so. However, you can now choose to make more decisions based in love rather than fear of lack. Stop your mind from focusing on a past failure (self or others) and instead choose a fond loving moment, then create another moment in love. Next, we will look at a strategy, my mother taught me at a young age, which still helps me get my thinking straight still today. Let’s take the leap!
When I was a child my mother would say “Misery loves company!” The first time I heard it, it seemed abstract, but, I quickly learned it meant I was demonstrating a hurtful behavior. As if by magic, I would immediately, change my behavior, to please my mother. I wanted her love and acceptance and I realized I always felt better because I switched my thoughts to love and my behavior improved too! Sometimes I would hear it said of another person which let me compare their behavior to my past behavior to confirm what I had already figured out. My bad behavior brought me fear of being discovered and dishonesty to the relationship. Good behavior brought me joy, peace, honesty and pure love. I knew when I felt best and others did too!
The saying was judgmental of a behavior, I was demonstrating to others, and I was smart enough to know I could change the behavior. When I changed the behavior life improved. I never felt threatened or controlled by the saying because it brought honesty to the present moment. My loving mother wanted me to enjoy life (loving the moment) rather than focus on what I might not currently have or what someone else had (fearing lack).
This loving strategy worked wonders. Whether I was selfish with a toy, while playing with others, or complaining at a store about wanting something, I learned to immediately focus on my emotional feelings. I always found I was not feeling good about something outside of me, and my mind would then focus on how I could change that “icky” feeling. I knew I liked feeling good rather than “icky”. That the saying worked wonders in my wonder years!
Life was full of wonder when I chose to feel good rather than selfishly playing with a toy or thinking about something I didn’t have. I was able to enjoy what I had with my friends around me. When I really wanted something I created a way to get it. I willingly cleaned neighbor’s houses, did ironing, mowed yards and even cleaned up doggy-do to earn money to “get over” my own misery. I still remember how great I felt earning money with my “Super Dooper Pooper Scooper” invention. Fifty cents here and there provided my need, or gifts for others, and I felt good as I often shared my purchase. I was creating value and value was coming to me. I was the Queen of Do! I felt “all growed up” and enjoyed every moment in those relationships serving other’s needs.
I still have many of those relationships. When life’s little struggles happen I can call on them, and, recall my mother’s voice saying, “Misery loves company!” I immediately feel good and enjoy the moment and those around me. I like being in good company, how about you?
Try this strategy when you are feeling lack instead of love. I say, “Try it you might love it!” Shake-off your misery and take the leap of love today!