Thank you for your kind letters.
The answers you seek from me have not just come about. I have been wrestling with them for decades. I should thank you for making me define them on paper. Yes, I did feel that I was pretending now that I think about it. The so-called “truth” never really connected with me, in honesty. Not that I didn’t want it to…I really did try to realize what others said I should feel as a Christian, but I never did. The only thing that connected emotionally with me was music and I am thankful for that.
Was I hopelessly lost and condemned to Hell? I never accepted that teaching either. I was living a noble life…I did right by you as best I could. I couldn’t have loved you any more.
I have always been a nonconformist and a bit of a rebel, although a respectful one. Because I never really accepted my disbelief as the course to take in the rearing of my children, I chose to bring you up in the faith, for I had not found a better way, although I had found a better church and you turned out pretty well through it all.
It is impossible for me to think of your questions without feeling the “altar call.” Sorry, I can’t help it. I have some resentment for having to answer your probing questions, but I’ll get over it. You designed them to be so cut and dry.
1. Do you believe in and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior? Yes, or No?
2. Do you ask God for forgiveness for your sins and truly repent for them? Yes, or No
3. Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and died for our sins on the cross? Yes, or No
4. Bottom line, Are you a Christian? Yes, or No
Before I answer, let me give you some background.
The first uplifting sermon I heard as a child was from Billy Graham in Memphis when I was 11. All previous sermons in the Nazarene Church were shouted at me and I took offense. I would plug my ears by daydreaming or by reading something. When someone preaches AT me, I automatically close my ears to this day.
I decided to leave the Nazarene Church when I was 12 or13. Mother allowed me to choose where I would attend. It took me a year, or so, to visit all denominations so that I could make an informed decision. Although most of my friends went to the Baptist Church, the Methodists had better music and the preaching tone was a little more motivational and thought provoking in my mind.
When I left home after graduation, I didn’t go to church regularly, unless a present girlfriend wanted me to attend with her. In fact, it was not until your Mother and I went to premarital counseling did I find a place where I would be comfortable. Great music, great preaching delivered without the fire and brimstone. I felt a love in that church never experienced anywhere else. It was during my twenties that I read the Bible cover to cover for the first time. I had many questions and doubts. Music became a more acceptable and sanctioned vehicle through which I worshiped. But I was unfulfilled with my spirituality.
After my accident, your Mother and I moved away from the church and started partying with another couple we had met in Sunday School. During my recovery, I secretly read a couple of books from Ayn Rand, an atheist, but many of her beliefs were Libertarian…which I have always had an inclination toward. I read Ayn Rand off and on for a while until I found another author to study. I couldn’t get beyond Ayn Rand’s atheism to absorb her wisdom. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I wasn’t ready. It was a shame, too, for if we had adopted some of her ideas for society, we wouldn’t be in the trouble we are today.
The other author that defined my belief system at the time was Dr.Venice Bloodworth, for she was no atheist. Over time, you all have seen me reading from that book…the little gold book with the dog eared pages and many paragraphs underlined in pencil. She referred to God as The Universal Consciousness and this became my personal definition of God. I learned about the true meaning of Jesus’ parables from Dr.Bloodworth and what he really meant when he said the Kingdom of Heaven is within. Though my thirties up to the present, that belief system hasn’t changed much.
In the early eighties, I became involved with the AMORC (Rosecrucians) which is a secret order devoted to the study of mysticism, science and alchemy. Some former members of the AMORC are in the history books: Newton, DiVinci, Bacon, Franklin, Jefferson, Lincoln and many, many others. I never advanced to alchemy, but I did achieve an elevated level in the Order…I forget what they called it…by doing private experiments through visualizations and meditations.
I kept my searches private. I knew that you were not mature enough to understand why I needed to keep looking for the answers that had eluded me. It was along this time that I turned back to the Bible and read it again, cover to cover. In my opinion, rationality requires questions. Questioning all belief systems, political or religious, is the responsibility of every human being. We evolve to higher consciousness through rationality and honesty.
I made a determination to keep on searching. I read a few things on Buddhism, Hinduism and even Scientology, which I rejected outright.
Two or three years ago, I finally found another author, like Dr.Bloodworth, that made everything crystal clear to me and I have been reading his Neothink materials ever since. His name is Mark Hamilton. He has taken certain, more palatable elements of 18th Century Illuminatti and 20th Century Ayn Rand and fits the puzzle pieces together in such a way that is understandable, plausible and rational. He makes logical sense with his honest, objective approach to religion, business, government and life.
I believe human consciousness is immortal, so I have been attempting to raise my consciousness by study and application of Neothink materials and through Mark Hamilton’s mentorship. It is our responsibility to evolve our consciousness during our time on earth. Consciousness is the most precious thing we’ll ever have…and should be nurtured. Self leadership is NOT blasphemous.
Something has to change if we are to survive on this planet. We are at the precipice of the nuclear threshold for humankind. Before I die or am annihilated, I am going to try to make a difference. The writings of Mark Hamilton, Eric Savage and Dr.Frank Wallace have provided me the firm belief system I have been searching for all my life.
Now, to answer your questions.
1. I believe that Jesus was a real man that had a wonderful message that was changed over a few centuries by the governments to inflict power and control over the uneducated masses in concert with the Roman Catholic Church, and later, the Anglican Church of Europe.
2. I accept full personal responsibility for the wrongs I have committed against individuals or society and will abide the consequences here on Earth. I believe that consciousness is possible beyond death….Heaven, if you will, just not as defined by hallucinations of man and I look forward to spending eternity with my loved ones.
3. I believe Jesus was the first truly conscious person to inhabit the planet and tried to teach how we must strive to be fully conscious. His ability to utilize all his brain to perform miracles was a lesson in consciousness. In quantum physics, full-brained consciousness is defined as both hemispheres working together; subconscious as connecting to the human species and super-sub-conscious as connecting to the universe. To truly love is not possible without consciousness…neither is the ability to recognize reality, as well as the illusions perpetrated by those in religion and politics that want control of our life.
4. Being a Christian does not automatically make one a good person. Call me a believer in full-brained Self-control based on reality. Not that I am perfect in the belief for I am growing into fully integrated honesty. It begins with taking control of ones mind and questioning everything, which is what I’ve been doing for the last two years.
There are things about humans that are being discovered in the advanced area of psychology, science, including quantum physics. Many scientists and other extremely well informed persons are recognizing these discoveries through their own personal research. They have led us to understanding superior persons in nearly every field in the past, i.e., Einstein, Beethoven, Mozart, Aristotle, Socrates, the great artist/sculptor/inventor Michelangelo, up to Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, among others that could be named.
There are certain abilities that are literally built in to the very fabric that makes us human, and these really have nothing to do with atheism or religion at all…even from a person like me with no advanced formal education…if that person thinks for himself and questions the nature of everything, and learns on his own to educate himself in those areas he is interested in, he can find these abilities within his own nature as he develops to come to see absolute reality as it is, (as all those persons named already) in his area of interest in particular, and can participate in the evolutionary process on our planet by developing the depth of his own talents and abilities while contributing values for himself and others. There is a paradigm shift of consciousness happening and I am happy to be participating.
Long ago, Dr. Frank Wallace, Mark Hamilton’s Father, discovered the roots of what is being realized about the mind from the writings of the great philosophers throughout history, and is devoted to human development in the ways of the mind to bring this about, starting with the individual.
Humanism? That is a label put forth by those that want to maintain control of our life and I don’t accept it as an accurate description for my beliefs.
The key to these discoveries lies in the makeup of our brain, and in the depths of our consciousness and how to tap these resources in ways that have been proven real…These are literally universal truths…which have nothing to do with religion.
The pendulum is swinging in human consciousness and no one can stop it. Mark Hamilton wishes to push it along by eliminating bicameral tendencies we have possessed since the development of the first alphabet. I think his writings will one day hold as much historical significance as Plato and Aristotle. Don’t be afraid to read his books.
No one can tell me this is not something worthy to be involved in. Something that Jesus himself would even approve of as far as I can tell from his love for humanity and all his demonstrations in the full use of his brain.
I am striving to be the person I was meant to be and I am on a responsible path to enlightenment. I have read and studied just about every self help book ever written, yet nothing has had such a lasting affect as Neothink. By integrating the wisdom it contains, I will continue to widen my scope of understanding.
Mark Hamilton’s approach is to stimulate a seeking of a deeper meaning to life…and that appeals to me…to advance as a person, a human being, to develop myself to lead a meaningful and satisfying life with truth and honesty…not based on the so-called ruling elite of this world who’ve been lying to us and creating the current mess.
I must live my life, just as you must live yours, and I want you to be happy. You’re my children and I love you with all my heart and soul.
If I leave any legacy with you, let it be this: Be a thinking person, not a reacting person. Don’t just go along with authorities; question everything.
It is probably the reason for my non-conformist nature and life-long rejection of authority, although I functioned within society successfully as the Great Pretender.
The truth is out.